SETTING: A high school classroom. Three of the walls are painted a dull yellow, while the fourth is the sort of pastel green normally associated with artificial flavoring. A teacher’s desk sits in the front left corner, adorned with a “NO CUSSING” jar and decorative “point” (which may or may not have been the result of an act of vandalism). Beside the desk is fishbowl, containing the three fish who’ve managed not to die (yet).
The bell rings, and students stand to listen to one of Mr. Chio’s notoriously long prayers. DREW pops up in the doorway at one point, leaves, and returns with a slip from the office. JENNIFER also arrives late, but is more prepared than DREW and already has a note. In a few more minutes, EMILY arrives late as well. Maybe there’s some truth to the statement that people are most tired on Tuesdays.
MRS. GILL: Go ahead and take out your journals.
Students scramble to take out their books while MRS. GILL pulls up a powerpoint on the board.
NICK: What’s the title?
MRS. GILL: Good question…
She eventually comes up with a title for the assignment, which is to personify an American Value. It is a fun assignment.
MRS. GILL: No PBJ this time. This is, in a sense, a prewrite. Think about the value I assigned to you yesterday. If it were a person, what would they be like? What would they wear, eat, act like? Would they have a family? Describe them.
She pauses.
MRS. GILL: I know most of you are probably annoyed that I’ve assigned you another paper after you just handed one in, but so far I haven’t gotten any pushback. I’m impressed. [Pause]. Unless you just aren’t complaining to my face. Is it going on a lot in the hall?
NICK: Not really.
MRS. GILL pulls up a song on YouTube
MRS. GILL: I tried to find a song that personifies a value-
KRISTEN: It’s MY song!!!
The song, Courage Is, plays while students write in their journals. Well, for a few seconds at least before it stops abruptly. There are a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
MRS. GILL: …I’m trying to be fancy here but I’m not doing a good job.
The song starts again, and plays to its proper end this time. MRS. GILL notes that she keeps our class’s papers in a green folder. Green is a good color for our class.
MRS. GILL: Anybody wanna read?
NICK: Jeff hasn’t read yet!
MRS. GILL: What a good friend you are. [To Jeffrey]. You have a checkmark. An unearned checkmark?
JEFFREY reads his journal entry about pleasure. According to JEFFREY, pleasure is a happy person who spreads his happiness on to other people.
MRS. GILL: I’m a little surprised that you didn’t go into the more negative aspects of pleasure. [To the class]. This tells me that Jeffrey has a pure heart.
Much laughter. JEFFREY’s face is red, naturally. (He is a redhead, after all.)
No one else volunteers to read, so GINA is selected. She reads an entry about Success, who wears a suit and has a good job and family. Like JEFFREY, she doesn’t go into the more negative characteristics of success. MRS. GILL talks for a bit about the connection between family and success.
MRS. GILL: Actually, whenever students come back and visit me from college, I don’t ask them about how their English classes are. The question I ask the most is if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. In the long run, your classes and schoolwork aren’t really what’s important. Forming a family is where you get your happiness.
She stops to let that sink in. A teacher telling students that their lives shouldn’t be completely school-focused?! This is a new concept indeed.
MRS. GILL: I’m going to let you all do some composition work today. Feel free to take out your computers.
NICK: What is composition?
MRS. GILL either doesn’t hear him or has somehow developed the rare ability to tune him out.
MATT: [suddenly] I took the wrong laptop…
MRS. GILL: Oh no!
He leaves.
MRS. GILL: That reminds me of an old prank buddy I had. There was one time when I moved her desk out of her office and replaced it with one of those little kindergarten desks. I even arranged all her things on it and everything.
She gets distracted by the DyKNOW.
MRS. GILL: I want you all to be getting started on your literacy memoir. Learn how to monitor yourself, but I will be watching you with the DyKNOW to see what gets you off track. This is to help you. It seems like a waste of money to pay for a college class and not pay attention. I’d like a digital copy of these memoirs to be turned in on Friday, as well as a paper copy, so that we can work with them in class.
She continues to fool with the DyKNOW, pulling up ZACH’s screen and correcting the spacing.
MRS. GILL: Look, I can chat you! I don’t even have to talk to you students anymore, I can just message you.
MRS. GILL: It seems everyone’s responded to my poll except-
JEFFREY: I didn’t know what it was, so I x’ed out of it…
DISAPPOINTMENT.
The class continues to work on their literacy memoirs until the period ends. It’s time for Physics. Huzzah! [Heavy sarcasm].
REMEMBER: Digital AND printed copy of Literacy memoirs are due Friday. Journals will be collected Friday as well.
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