I walk into class. People are
trying to make coffee. Meredith has goldfish. Mackenzie runs over to get
coffee. It’s Friday and we are watching a movie in English. Wow. I never
thought this would happen, especially in a college credit class. Gross it’s the
6-fingered man. Boom Westley gets knocked out and is seeing stars. Next thing
he knows he is in a creepy basement and a creepy man is cleaning his wounds.
The creepy man warns Westley of the death machine. The King dies and
Humperdinck and Buttercup get married.
Billy is upset that Buttercup marries Humperdinck instead of Westley.
The little Billy learns a lesson about how life isn’t fair.
Next thing, the old woman is booing Buttercup
because she betrayed Westley in the fire swamp.
Buttercup realizes that she must marry Westley because he is her true
love. She tells Humperdinck that she must marry Westley. Humperdinck suggests
that she write to Westley and he will send ships out to find Westley and.
Please consider me his alternative to suicide he says. Buttercup leaves and
starts joking about how he will strangle Buttercup on their wedding night.
Humperdinck complains about how he is “swamped”. Pun intended? I don’t know. Now
Westley is being tortured with the death machine. They start off on the lowest
setting. He just sucked one year of his life away. Westley feels miserable.
Humperdinck demands that the
thieves forest be empty on the day of the wedding. Inigo is drunk in the
forest. Fezzik picks him up and knocks out the guard. Bromance? Awkward… Know Fezzik
is feeding Inigo. Now he is bathing him. Now Inigo goes off to avenge his
father and kill the 6-fingered man.
It is the wedding day. Humperdinck
is pretending to like Buttercup. She calls him out on how he never sent the
ships for Westley. Buttercup says Westley will come anyway because they are
joined by the bonds of love. Buttercup calls Humperdinck a coward and the
slimiest creature to ever crawl the earth. Then, Humperdinck runs down to the
basement, sets the death machine to 50, and kills Westley. Westley lets out a
mighty cry that is heard for miles. Inigo hears the death cry and tells Fezzik
that he knows the sound. Fezzik knock out the creepy man. Inigo believes that
somewhere there is a man that can help guide his sword to where he heard the death
cry. He walks around, eyes closed, with sword pointed out. He runs into a tree
and it just so happens that it is a secret entrance to the Zoo of death. They
find Westley, dead. Little Billy is demanding who kills Humperdinck. He is
upset to find that Humperdinck lives. Then Inigo and Fezzik go to Max the
miracle man to try to revive Westley.
Max says he is retired and the king fired him. They bring Westley in and
Max says he has seen worse. Inigo demands that he has to avenge his father. Max
says Westley is mostly dead, not all dead so he is slightly alive. Max asks
Westley what is so important living for. Westley replies mumbling true love.
Max’s wife storms in and they get in a little altercation. She keeps shouting,
“Humperdinck!” Now Max is convinced that it is a noble cause. They coat the
magic potion thing in chocolate and they send the boys off.
Inigo feeds Westley the magic
chocolate covered potion. Westley wakes up and is alive again! Now they are
discussing how to save the princess. Fezzik pulls out a holocaust cloak that he
grabbed from Max’s house. Westley puts on the cloak. The three men are outside
the castle. The wedding is beginning. Fezzik is wearing a cloak and there is
fire and smoke around him. Fezzik distracts the guards. Then he opens the gate
so the three men can advance into the castle.
Fezzik carries Westley. Inigo takes care of some guards with his sword.
Then he encounters the 6-fingered man. The 6-fingered man runs away and Inigo
chases after him. Fezzik sets Westley down and breaks open a locked door for
Inigo to advance after the 6-fingered man. The 6-fingered man throws a dagger
into Inigo’s stomach. Inigo dies. Or does he? No.
Now Buttercup is about to commit
suicide. She is about to stab herself when all of a sudden Westley is their and
she kisses him.
Inigo gets up saying, “hello my
name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” He repeats the
phrase several times. The two duel it out and Inigo kills him and avenges his
father.
Westley points out that Buttercup
never said “I do.” Humperdinck walks in. Westley then insults Humperdinck.
Westley orders Humperdinck to drop his sword and take a seat. Buttercup ties
him up. They do not kill Humperdinck.
Fezzik appears with 4 white horses for them to ride away. Buttercup jumps out the window into Fezzik’s
arms, rather comically. The four of them ride away. Westley and Buttercup have
a very passionate kiss. One of the most passionate of all time.
The little Billy tells his grandpa
to come over again tomorrow to read it again and the grandpa replies with
Westley’s words, “As you wish.” And the movie is over.
But the journaling does not stop
hear. We critique the movie. Jacob gives it one star. G says she calls her
husband pig. Weird. G says that there is theme in the movie that is harder to
see in the book. Now class is over.
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