A CLASS IN NICK BUJNAK’S MIND

Oh God there’s two seats open where do I go? Bianca keeps asking me to sit next to her. Why does she keep repeating my name? Spoonjak? Come on Bianca it’s not sophomore year. I’ll just sit next to Ben. Sorry Bianca. Now there’s prom talk from the girls. Ugh, I can’t wait for this to be over. I guess class is actually starting. I’m typing loudly sorry everyone in the class. There’s a seat open next to me I bet Mrs. Gill sits there. I was right. Abby is walking in. Should I make the same joke as Will? Yeah, I’ve done it before. (Steals Will’s joke). Oh we’re reading scribe notes. Man, I hope mine are funnier than these. Carly, why would you mention that no one reads? It’s just going to piss off Mrs. Gill. I was right again. Wow she actually said those exact words. Here comes the lecture. All I hear her saying is ‘text’. Text text text text review the text love the text read the text study the text text text text text text. Why must she repeat that word so much? Did Courtney just ask which class Mrs. Gill likes more? Teachers must hate that question.

-          “That’s a hard question”

Nice dodge Mrs. Gill. We all know that they hate all of us equally. Uh oh we’re talking about the book now. I hope she doesn’t ask me if I read. Crap. Well now that she called me out I can just scribe for the rest of the class. Wait, Ben thinks this book is boring? Shocker. I guess we’re talking about Buttercup now. This discussion is all over the place. Oh God everyone is talking at once I can’t type fast enough. I guess the general consensus is that we like Buttercup. Mmm Buttercup or Peanut buttercup. I need a Reese’s. Shoot wasn’t paying attention. What the heck is Will drawing? “Horse is my ‘mane’ man”. Is it possible to cringe everywhere on your body? I’m pretty sure the only one in this room that genuinely laughed at that was Sarah. I’m actually friends with these people (just kidding Will and Sarah <3). Oh Mrs. Gill please tell me you’re joking about not understanding it. She wasn’t kidding. Time for the daily update on Ben’s facial hair. There it is. Uh oh sneeze coming on. That was so loud and gross. Wow Will is really the only one who says “Bless you”? Great to see I have people who care about my health in this room. Mrs. Gill must you make Lindsay read this four page passage out loud? How am I supposed to scribe about this? I guess this is going okay, people are actually following along for once. Aaaaaand there it goes. I bet Chris is the first one with his head down. Dang I was wrong, looks like Will is the first one defeated. Wow his face is really far in that book. Oh God this is moving so slow I think I can actually feel myself dying slowly. HOW ARE THERE STILL TWO PAGES LEFT? Is Lindsay putting herself to sleep by reading? Is that possible? What time is it? TWENTY MINUTES OF CLASS LEFT? Okay these scribe notes are getting a little ridiculous. I think it’s time to stop. Better brag about how long they are though. This is going to take forever to edit tonight but let’s be honest I’ll wait until the last minute anyways. 

The Ups and Downs of a 26 Minute English Class: 4/23 by Carly S.

I’m telling you having class at 9am should be a good thing because it means we got an extra hour of sleep, but for some strange reason everyone always comes into class a little more tired than usual, and Wednesday’s English class was no exception. The first words heard coming out of peoples’ mouths were “I’m tired” and “I want to go back to bed”. However, we all quickly realize that we should wake up because we have to take a quiz over a book that we more than likely didn’t even open. Before even taking the quiz the arguing begins, and of course, it has absolutely nothing to do with The Princess Bride. Voss lectures the whole class on how you pronounce “gif” while Taylor is in a huff trying to explain to Mrs. Gill how to properly pronounce “Pinterest”. Right about this time Jaclyn gets to cut part of class to go and “practice” her petitions with Father Bob while Jacob insists on looking at his grades online, which was to Mrs. Gill’s dismay when she says “looking at your grades won’t improve them”, this to the dismay of Jacob. Still before the quiz has even been passed out, Mrs. Gill argues with the class on the difference between yelling and saying shut up but eventually abandons the idea and tells Steven to shut up instead of kicking him out of class. And yet, the quiz still hasn’t been handed out even though class is 26 minutes long.

Finally, Mrs. Gill attempts handing out quizzes over the book’s intro with complete silence, which never actually works. Right on cue, Cory starts asking Mrs. Gill about how he wants to respond to the last quiz question sarcastically instead of a “serious paragraph worthy response”. Finally. Silence. Haha just kidding totally a joke we all know that ACC English 3 is never quiet. Hopefully you didn’t fall for that one J. Of course, a quiz wouldn’t be complete without a saint quote, and the saints may not have been on Mackenzie’s side because she forgot where Florin was and whether or not it actually exists, and then the class got into yet another argument/heated discussion on whether or not saint quotes were really worth the time and energy. In the words of Mrs. Gill: “The saints choose you, and the saints may save your life”. Then she talked about how Leah’s saint was St. Joseph, who only wished for her to pause in reverent silence. Lucy’s scribe notes are read from the previous day while some people were still trying to take their quiz, which of course Mrs. Gill started yelling for them to turn them in. Adam naturally counterattacked saying how he couldn’t form a general opinion over ANY book that could have impacted his life at one point or another #really?! After Lucy’s scribe notes had been read, Mrs. Gill discussed how an abridged book doesn’t exist…or does it? Steven: “Does this book actually exist?” By this point it was time to leave, so Mrs. Gill addressed how we needed to put our chairs back in rows because she didn’t trust her English 3 students in a circle. 

“A Quick Article for a Slow Day of Work”

Sit down. Shut up. Read your book. Mamma Gill’s in a bad mood today.

Something about climate. I’m cold. Scan room. Bianca flashes peace sign. Duck face. Wow.

Still scanning. Erin has a blown up latex glove. Crudely drawn face. Hans. Kinda scared.

“The silence begins now friends…. Yesss…”. Thanks Bianca. I don’t think I’ll ever talk again.  

One minute. Two minutes. Three. Four. Five in and Lindsay taps out.

Gill’s big girl voice, “I FINNA GET ANGRY!”  Should I be scared? Nahhh.

Scanning. Scanning. Silence. Thirty minutes until lunch.

Ben looks different… NO BEARD?? Disappointment. Tears. I refuse to talk to him again.

Snip, snip, snip. MG goin’ hard with orange safety scissors. Chris intently watching her. Such precision.

Twenty-five minutes until lunch. Grumble grumble.

New girl? Nope, just Abby actually in class.

Foot tapping. Rap, rap, rap.

Nick Bujnak. Was that a wink or a blink? Sinking. Sliding down chair. Call me?

Revelations. Ben feels lost without beard. Naked. “SHHH” from Fish-Gill.

WHAP, WHAP. Annette hit me. Questioning friendship.

Courtney with laptop, on book, on paper. Overachiever.

Megan Kerr looks bored. So does Chris.

Lindsay’s shoes like pink sun. Still can’t see.

Chris balancing book. Success. Most excitement all class.

Erin. Bridget. Whisper. Shared computer screen. They laugh. I sigh.

Twenty minutes until lunch. I like cookies.

Erin, Bridget exchange more whispers. I stare. Bridget hides. I win.

Alyssa and Annette. Drawing on desk with highlighter. Alyssa looks concerned. Annette laughs. Typical.

Is Chris asleep?

Across the hall, laughter, screams. Gill slams door.

“Annette shed a tear… she does have emotion! She does have a heart!”. False.

Fifteen minutes until lunch. Stomach hurts. Send distress signals!

Bianca plays drums with face. Lolz. Srsly?

Erin, Bridget STILL WHISPERING. Hidden behind book. Supa Sneaky.

Typing… Typing……. I got nothin’. Thanks Obama.

Still cold. Stomach clawing. A constant clatter of keys. Sooooooooo slowwwwww…

BIANCA RAISES HAND! Gill trudges over. Bonk’s hand is a dolphin when speaking.

Megan Kerr, straight back, fixed eyes on book. Full focus.

Book raised high. New levels of interest reached?

NOPE. Book hits desk. Eyes close. Maybe next year.

Is Courtney playing 2048?

Silent-Watcher Gill retreats to desk. DyKnow left unguarded. IT’S SPRING BREAK!

Ten minutes until lunch. Start the grind.

“I leave for golf at 12:30”. Chris is packed up. It’s 12:15.

I think I make Annette uncomfortable.

She puts hair on me. Out of control.

Abby face down on textbook. Nap time.

Erin pets Bridget’s hair… Stares at me… Can I leave now?

Mrs. Gill stares at floor. Or Bianca? Can’t tell.

I see a Manott twin in the hall. They wave. I wave back. Which one are you?

Five minutes until lunch. Close to tears.

Sarah has not moved. At all.

Look down. Pencil open, lead out. Annette smirks. Radical!

Time’s up! Cheers!

Quiz tomorrow. Groans.

“Buttercup’s a horse!” I’m out. Bungee –cord up backpack. Call it a day. 

Lucy's Scribe notes from 4-22

We came into class and Mrs. Gill yelled at us for not reading the book before asking if any of us had, in fact, read the book, which some of us actually had. I felt powerful because I was the only one allowed to have their laptop out without having the reading done first. Mrs. Gill gave us the whole class to finish the reading and write our journals so it turns out that I picked a good day to scribe because there is really not that much to report. Three minutes into class we had not yet all settled down yet and Alex started randomly screaming about the proper pronunciation of “gif” after Mrs. Gill once again insisted that she is the only person in the world who pronounces “interest” and “Pinterest” correctly. IT’S TWO SYLLABLES, MRS. GILL. JUST GIVE IN. PIN. TREST. Then everyone was quiet. Too quiet. Suspiciously quiet? Then there was a little bit of noise because Mrs. Gill told Jaclyn she didn’t need to read the introduction and Jaclyn said she didn’t and Kory lied and said he had read the introduction and took that back after it became clear that he would still have to read pages 1 through 36. We reaffirmed the idea that the William Goldman in the book is nothing like the William Goldman who exists in real life and that he is a fictional character in a fictional world where America is mostly the same but there’s a country somewhere across the pond called Florin. Or something? More silence, and reading, and pretending to be reading. Good Lord, I have changed tenses like five times in these scribe notes. I’m not going to fix it. I think it gives these notes a certain rough charm. If I acknowledge it that means it’s an intentional literary technique and not a blatant grammar error, right? God, I hope so. The narrator in this book is kind of an extreme jerk. I know he’s supposed to be, but I hope he doesn’t come up very much. Westley and Buttercup are the bomb, though. Well, now it’s time to go. Okay. Bye.

Caitlyn's scribe notes 4-11

          Whose turn is it to do scribe notes? Catdaddy? Erica? Jack? Caitlyn? We read through Jake’s scribe notes and Mrs. Gill says something about always having an academic goal even though it may not seem like it. Remember: having the shortest poem gives you more problems…apparently. We found out that Johnny has a romantic heart and likes eyelash poems. We received a hefty packet which is our new “textbook.” Mary asked how many trees Mrs. Gill kills in a day and Abby asks if it is a small book. Samantha showed me her awesome St. Bernard socks…again. Mrs. Gill says she wants to get something done quick and dirty. We learned George Watsky is white and straight and writes about casseroles. High school teachers love us but college teachers don’t care if our grandmother dies multiple times. Mrs. Gill says something about finding new note taking strategies for college because we “might” get bored in an 80 minute speech. Aly gets to skip school but don’t worry the link is on edline. Julia and Kyle read the Mending wall which something about cows, pine cones, fences, and elves. Mary gives insight of what this is supposed to mean and Alex talks about countries. Bridget and Natalie keep whispering and giggling. Where Mrs. Gill grew up you she had to check that the fence didn’t wash away and let the cows out. Cows are expensive and when cows get hit by trucks, they would get sued. We take a quiz and check the clock again. Mrs. Gill shows us how to find the pattern in a poem by annunciating random words to a random beat. We are spending all of tomorrow on mending wall and hopefully mending our grades. 

Jake's scribe notes from 4-10

Long, long, long ago in an English classroom far away…

Regan has started to present Scribe Notes right after we talked about whether or not torturing people was okay. Her scribe notes mostly consisted of prom, girls in the class, and all the things she saw that day. Everyone clapped at her overachieving because she wrote her scribe notes in a poem. It was honestly good, but it is going to make me look bad. Jimmy was given a poem for a quiz that we have today because he was sick on Tuesday. Jack and Brett where talking in the back while they were whipping me with their laptop cords. I was given many lacerations. All of the sudden Mary started complaining for good reasons over the poems that we were about to be assigned. Everybody ran up to the front of the board to get their poems. There was fighting and scratching up there. Jack and Brett threatened to kill me if I didn’t write anything about them. Kate flirted with Brett the whole class because she has a burning passion for him. Then she started writing all over my agenda like I cared because I haven’t used it all year. Then Brett, Jack, and I started making fun of Kate like we always do. Everybody hurried to find out how long their poems were hoping that it was a short one. Paige and Caitlyn were being stubborn in not letting Brett and I have "Chicago," the poem that we also wanted, so this made us really mad. I noticed everybody in the classroom was dying to get a little air circulation in the class. There was sweat dripping from everybody because of the intense heat from our dry and arid school. Then the whole class started talking about making Johnny’s life hell by giving him a bad poem. The whole class seemed to really enjoy discussing Johnny in his absence, and we got into pretty good detail about him. Kate seemed really interested in what Jack, Brett, and I were doing because we are really interesting and good looking people. The class ended and everybody hurried out. 

Regan Cole's scribe notes for 4-9

‘Twas the week after spring break and all through the school

Every English student was reading, for it was the rule

It was hot as heck in the west hall English room

But as ants crossed the floor, I searched for a broom

The students were nestled all snug in the desks

As some laid down their heads, for a much needed rest

 Natalie especially was ready for a nap

And Mrs. Gill didn’t notice, but I had my phone in my lap

Erica dug through her bag and pulled out a pen so bright and green

As Lauren passed around the stapler, we were told to read

Bridget annotated thoroughly, Julia tossed and turned

Aly balanced her papers, mentally making them burn

Johnny spaced out, staring blankly at the cross

We listened to Mrs. Gill as she read the words of Robert Frost

Jack tried to fix the stapler, but it was clearly broken

There was a coin on the floor, or could it have been a magical token

Mrs. Gill heard voices, calling Kate and Natalie out

What they were discussing, we all wondered about

English was the last class, and it surely seemed endless

But without Mrs. Gill on DyKnow, I could shop for a prom dress

Mary finished then recycled her tasty Sunny D

Mrs. Gill looked around, choosing to stare at me

Today the boys didn’t pass Pokémon cards around

But Aly again stared at the ground

Mrs. Gill announced “Laptops away, except for the scribe”

I don’t like this job and wouldn’t do it again for a bribe

“Let’s discuss the iambic contaminator and speech”

Yes, Mrs. Gill, please continue to teach

“We’re not gonna get through this, and we really need to”

Meter, Mrs. Gill, is only understood by a few

Aly and Julia mouthed across the room as Mrs. Gill stared

Sarah said she was hot; did she mean she was attractive? No one actually cared

Thank goodness we have Kate, who’s oh so excited

As I looked over the packet, I saw Mrs. Gill didn’t add a works cited

“Who says ‘my prom date is hot’ when speaking to their mother?”

But the idiom is different when speaking to a brother

Mrs. Gill used metaphors and symbolism to explain weird words

We marked ones we knew and ones we hadn’t heard

Julia’s hand flew high, waving around in space

Mrs. Gill ignored the question but looked right Julia’s face

Paradox, pentameter, connotation, oh my!

Ellie got up to leave early, and we all yelled “Goodbye!”

We were told we have problems understanding allusion

All we wondered was when this class would reach its conclusion

Eight lines, six lines, four lines, I don’t care

This blank verse poem gives me a blank stare

Aly suddenly was LOL-ing at nothing

Amanda looked confused, was I missing something?

We continued to talk about poems, including a sonnet

Remember that time Huck Finn wore a bonnet?

Personification, snarl and rattle

Annotating that poem seemed like a battle

We keep repeating the same old, boring lines

Why can’t we buy a prom ticket if we have unpaid fines?

Mrs. Gill asked questions, which we all ignored

Kyle probably would have answered, but he must have been too bored

Lauren and Rachel made faces at Mrs. Gill’s weird noises

I don’t blame them; our teacher’s sounds were odd choices

Next to be called on is Molly; she said the boy was really scared

Mrs. Gill keeps on talking, but it’s the last class so no one listened or cared

Patty Mac came to the door, looking for Ms. Cannon and Ms. Vogt

It was warm in the classroom, no need for a coat

Kate raised her hand with lots of questions

Other students added their answers and suggestions

Turnitin.com lied, saying papers were turned in late

With this test retake topic, who would win the debate?

“We’re here to learn” answered the cheerful Kate

But I just continued to snap chat my future prom date

Announcements finally came on, and we all stood for prayer

Ignoring Mrs. Patty Mac, oh we wouldn’t dare

It was a great class to have end the day

I’ve raised the scribe standards, from what I have to portray